i think we should do this in the real world. instead of, "hey, let's go out till one of us breaks the other's heart," it would be, "hey, let's give each other three months, and if after three months, one or both of us does not feel like continuing the relationship, let's break up." settle it right there. at the beginning. see. then you know it is coming. you expect the possibility that it will end there. and during those three months you do not worry/fight about it ending, because you know that was not the agreement.
and it would not have to be "three months" it could be three years!
i just think it would be easier and more realistic if we learned to accept, from the beginning, that some things might not last forever. so we should just make the most of the time we have instead of always worrying about it not lasting forever. plus, getting your heart broken sucks. it would be nice to know when it is going to happen.
then again...i am sure we would still find a way to fight about it. it is our way.
I like your reactions function. -clicks-
ReplyDelete--C.
The concept of predetermined time limits to dating or relationships Pretty much mess with everything dating is about. Its about working through the problems. its about finding chemistry (or not) to be able to see a future together (or not). This idea only makes sense when you think of it in the terms of pain. If you dont want to get hurt, play it safe. but if we never got hurt, we would never appreciate the pain, or growth that we go through during and after that pain.
ReplyDeleteThere was also a bit of a contradiction within your words. You said how we should predetermine everything except whether or not to stay together after the allotted time, But then you go one to day that maybe we should enjoy the time we have together and not think about the end. Thinking about the end is all you can do when you know there will for sure be an end.
-Em
I disagree on many counts. 1) I do not think that this defeats what dating is about. Dating is about getting to know one another and, yes, working through the problems. Just because you have agreed upon a date and time when to discuss your future, does not mean that the time before that will not have problems to work through and chemistry to find. It also does not mean that you cannot imagine a greater future together. It just acknowledges that most of the relationships that we enter into will not work out (all but one) and therefore gives people an opportunity to talk about it without encouraging all sorts of negative emotions from the other party for bringing it up.
ReplyDelete2) I think that in every relationship, ever, we know that there will always be an end, somewhere. So we are always thinking about things ending, because that could happen at anytime. If the end is agreed upon, you do not have to worry all the time about "will it be right now?" "will it be tomorrow?". If you know when it will happen, you think about it less. Like you know what day you are going to graduate from school, but if it could happen at any moment, any day you would spend a lot more time and emotion concentrating on the uncertainty.